Thursday, June 9, 2016

True grit


Romantics will tell you to stick it out till the edge of doom.


But what if, like in my case, luck always has its way of plunging its arm in the water right before I drowned? So much for Shakespeare.


Yes, time to talk about mortality again, and age, and regret. But also about meandering roads that don’t even appear to intersect.


All I have are forks and departures – as the poet I am now reading once said: “All I can tell you is this: what we are not, what we do not want.”


Is it really as easy as picking a profession, or say, your favorite color?


No matter how hard I exert my influence on fate, my concerns and my passions always have their way of finding me. Like sticks skewered to my tongue, I cannot pick my own words.


Inspiration is given and handed down.


Even if there are no seraphic songs or jewels presented to future saviors, even if most of the time I can only see salt shining in the mud. 


Cut, tapered, and edited: that’s how life should be lived.


Without this confusion of choices.


Even when right from the beginning, I already knew the answers.


I will still risk to find them.

Sweater, Gap
T-shirt, Uniqlo
Jeans, Levi’s
Sneakers, thrifted
Neptares Multi-Stone Bracelet, Bosquejo
Persepto Multi-Stone Bracelet, Bosquejo

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Dry and mighty


Is it really June already? Apparently, so says the weather.


But even though the days aren’t as intensely warm as the past few months, things can still get pretty humid and sticky.

That’s why I did myself a favor and got myself a pile of Uniqlo Dry-Ex polo shirts and tees, which work as they are billed!


I still keep my rubber flood boots inside my office pedestal just in case, but most times I’m happy with dock shoes – and lately – even trainers for more comfortable walks.


There’s no hiding behind the passage of time, no matter how much I want to deny my own frustrations and disappointments.


BUT, who can sink eternal optimists?


I can’t say anything new yet is coming my way – something to change how I’ve been living and handling things – you know, just not to jinx it.


Let’s just say I’ve removed my camo and have allowed myself to be seen in the open.


Give and take a few weeks, maybe months – who knows?


Life and death, yin and yang, black and white, success and failure: aren’t all these just binary opposites?


Overlapping, incestuous cousins?


Yeah, that’s Mr Grey once again speaking (Jekyll and Hyde rolled into one).

Polo shirt, Uniqlo Dry-Ex
Shorts from Bangkok
Camouflage cardigan, Level 5 Five
Shoes, Sebago
Hava Howlite and Lava Bracelet, Bosquejo

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Last Samurai


As mentioned on my earlier post, I am almost finished most of my published work on my online portfolio.


Here is one of the editorials in WestEast magazine that ran alongside one of my articles, entitled "Remaking an Original".


It is especially significant since Tyson Ballou is one of my favorite male models of all time.


Hope you can drop my website if you can. Or better yet, drop me a line and leave comments!


See you there!


Photography: Joseph Lally, styling: John Tan, make-up: Cheyenne, hair: Michele Salvatori, model: Tyson Ballou. With special thanks to Kevin Alpana.


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Going places


So I’ve finally put up my own online portfolio. Hope you can drop by when you get the time. Most of my published magazine articles have been scanned and uploaded, plus the main page is better for tracking all my other pursuits (hint: the “store” button might lead to somewhere else soon).


This is what I wore last Saturday when I watched X-Men: Apocalypse with the boyfie. Now he’s excited to read up on the Dark Phoenix saga.


As usual, so many things are happening at the same time that I’m barely able to cope.


Colleagues moving on to greener pastures, continuous self-education in all sorts of fields. Am I going somewhere?


Only time can really answer that question.


Half-blindingly hiking through the dark: isn’t that what most of us feel?


Don’t you just love the new backpack I got from Jansport? I swear, it was by pure coincidence that it matched what I was wearing on the day I bought it.


Doesn’t this door look familiar? It’s been painted over by carpenters and masons.


But the texture and grain remain under the surface.


If only I could click my heels to wish myself to some other place.


Not “home”, because I don’t really know where that is.


As I said, I can only feel through the impermanence.


If there were places I could call my own, it would be situations where my teeth are sunk deep into the skin. 

T-shirt and braided belt, Uniqlo
Jeans, Bench
Boots, Dr Martens
Backpack, Jansport
Iaspis Red Jasper Bracelet, Bosquejo

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Patterns on ikat


So, things appear to be calming down after moving back from the apartment to the house. But inner turmoil one always has to surmount.


“I grow old… I grow old…” But I prefer the bottoms of my trousers tapered and tailored!


Going through my pile of books by Gabriel García Márquez – no other way am I going to be able to read through my shelves than by committing myself to reading projects – I am reminded how poignantly Márquez sees through people, ignoring their feints and dissolving their sleights of hand.


But in a world where everything is confessed and brandished, I hold my tongue.


This must be how it feels to live forever: to be an invisible photobomber.


To not care or bother with other’s foibles. Sometimes even one’s own.


But I am telling you, the quill is sharper than ever.


Even if you smell my feet, you will never suspect where I’ve been.


What I’m thinking and considering. Do clairvoyants converse in silence?

T-shirt, Dries Van Noten
Shorts from Bangkok
Windbreaker, Muji
Belt, Factorie
Shoes, Jil Sander
Blumo Dumortierite Bracelet, Bosquejo
Bluflama Blue Tiger's Eye Bracelet, Bosquejo