Friday, May 29, 2015

Tables turned


I know it may seem strange for me to post pictures of me in shorts – what with the month of May ending and Manila barely dry after its first continuous downpour in weeks.


Of course, the skies have already cleared and may be blue and sunny in a few hours.


We do after all, live in the tropics (in the ring of fire to be exact).


In between tropical seasons, my mind can’t help but wander, remember, anticipate.


Just like in these pictures, where tables have been turned to rest on each other, I have the sense of existing between work and rest.


Or between different kinds of work, to be more precise. (Don’t the metal beads in these bracelets remind you of snowflakes?)


The dust still hasn’t settled, can’t be wiped off surfaces. But already my muddled mind sees through things as though I were past tabula rasa.


As though the 8 ball was already removed from the corner pocket, and now set neatly again. 


Ready for more disarray.


I digress. 


It’s as if I were no longer here anymore.


And what’s written are just impressions on a blank page made by a dry pen.

T-shirt, Uniqlo
Shorts, Topman
Sneakers, Converse
Belt, Factorie
Navi Lapis Lazuli Bracelets, Bosquejo

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Camo chameleon


I have once said before – I don’t know on which social media platform – that I’ve gotten tired of camouflage in fashion. But as it turns out, just like any significant metaphorical pattern (you know, stripes not just for sailing adventures but equally for keeping ourselves in our own penitential prisons), I concede that camo stays relevant. At least for me.


For one, camouflage’s original purpose was for its wearer to be hidden. To be anonymous in crowds.


To strain at appearing normal even if you can barely conceal your spines.


I won’t say wings. For me, thorns possess the same splendor as feathers.


Even if for many, bitterness can be an armor deadly as poison.


Moreover, camouflage signifies constant warfare. Covert battles.


You see where I’m going?


Of course you don’t. You can only feel the breeze rustling through foliage.


Now you see me, now you don’t.


Even in my writing, I strive to erase my tracks.


But I make sure that you feel the same bomb explode, that we both momentarily lose our balance.

Cardigan, Level Five
T-shirt, Uniqlo
Jeans, Neil Barrett
Sandals, Kickers
Belt, A.P.C.
Veleno bracelet, Bosquejo 

Photographs by Jullian Mendoza

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Purple pleasures


I didn’t really realize that it’s almost been a month since my last post. So hey, I’m still here! Still careless and unkempt and in between visits to the barber/salon.


I must have woken up from a short nap before these pics were taken (hence the sleep marks on my arm). You see, summer has been really warm here in Manila. Easy to force one to slow down and just lounge somewhere cold.


Though I’ve been busy as ever. Quieter, true. Which is just how I like things.


I have the new environment to thank for a change of view. More work over at my day job, more sleep, more time with my thoughts.


Am finally finishing a book I started reading years ago – a collected book of poetry, a life’s work – and I’m in elegy territory.


I’ve been collecting notes for so long, and my notebook of thoughts and observations is bulging at the seams, so I hope you don’t mind me being absent every now and then on these pages.


Different matters to attend to, different things that require varying levels of attention.


I do hope I can keep up the momentum. I’ve never been more comfortable in my own skin.


Which is not to say that things aren’t hard – I mean writing, or designing accessories, or concentrating on work.


I find that the more I focus on one thing, the more I am convinced that I should conclusively abandon others.


But now is not the time for livid pronouncements. For now, let’s just say how interested I am that a single color could be attributed to bruises, wine, or an eggplant – of all things – at the same time.

T-shirt and socks, Uniqlo
Shorts, Lee Jeans
Jacket (tied), Uniqlo, thrifted
Boots, Dr Martens, thrifted
Midas Pyrite and Skull Bead Bracelet, Bosquejo

Photos by Jullian Mendoza

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Letter from the past


My first thought at seeing the mail room of the apartment was a bit comical: I don’t think those little drawers will have enough space for my usual packages!


For my little shoot at the parcel room, I was wearing a cute pendant that I sourced a bit of time ago. I promptly named it the “Insta Camera Pendant Necklace”.


Though I don’t think I will be writing and mailing any handwritten letters any time soon, it is worth noting that before I got my first smartphone (with its useful notes apps), I wrote all my poetry drafts longhand. Rewrote and revised in the same way.


Besides being therapeutic, writing with a pen in a way commits things to memory – even validates them.


Sad though that most paper correspondence I receive in the mail are utility and credit card bills.

T-shirt, Uniqlo
Trousers, Y-3
Knit cardigan, tied, Uniqlo
Shoes, Dr Martens
Belt from an Italian market
Insta Camera Pendant Necklace, Bosquejo

Monday, April 27, 2015

Child's play


As promised, I have finally changed the backdrops in my cameos. So many nooks and crannies to shoot at in the apartment!


There’s a tennis court, a swimming pool, a grotto fountain – heck, even a mail room to explore. You can see that I’m positively giddy.


Positive being the operative word. Many times my impatience and intransigence really just conceal an unconquerable sense of optimism. A sense of what’s possible, an indomitable sense of faith.


Time and time again I have found it unfortunate that people mistake my standards for negative attitude. I have nothing to say to the lazy, self-satisfied, and mediocre.


Though I may wish for stones to fall from the sky and for certain individuals to drop off steep cliffs, really, I am more interested in what meteors and the depths of our consciousness have to reveal.


Again, I have said too much. Let’s just say that every game of tic-tac-toe conceals ticks, knacks, and foes.
Polo shirt, Michael Bastian x Uniqlo
Trousers, Uniqlo
Leather sneakers, Jil Sander
Cirrus bracelet, Bosquejo