Thursday, June 20, 2013

Little earthquakes

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There were two really big tremors yesterday evening while I was caught working late with my colleagues up our office tower. But these were not as big as all the little earthquakes taken together the past six months, when I was stuck in the trenches of my own doing. Battling demons.


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There was more than rain and mud, slopes too slippery even for my hardy Timberland boots. In my mind hell is the inertia of indecision, much like being stuck between water and fire. Between Manila's two seasons. In the insomnia of bad habits. Needing pleasure, but always seeking pain.


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There is always a way to fool ourselves.


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Like I've never really needed sunglasses in my life, because I don't drive and I'm rarely at the beach. Or more because I've never really liked seeing things behind a tint. (But damn it, these sunnies were a Bangkok bargain and few pairs suit my face.)

Pullover, Workshop
Trousers, eight millimeters/Workshop
Shirt, Springfield
Belt, Brave Beltworks
Boots, Timberland, thrifted


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In the end, gravity grounds us. Leather cracks under the heat and we carry scars on our skin. All embellishment melts and we are left with cement. I was high, but now I confront endless pavement.


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We are left laughing at ourselves. Even after buildings collapse and we crawl out of the debris, we manage to dust off our clothes.


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What else can we do but rebuild? For my part, I intend to write about my season in hell.


3 comments:

Catch said...

Finally, a new post!

It's been a while. Been looking forward to reading your writing for quite sometime.


x
Catch

Ca said...

You're back! Hooray!

I hope you have been fine during the hiatus?

But who am I to say this, haha, I've stopped blogging and made the archive private. Oh well, it was time to focus on other things. But I'm glad that you're updating your blog again. I have been stopping by from time to time, and I will continue reading. Keep up the good work!

Ca from Norway (who recently finished library studies and is in a strange, exciting and highly unpredictable transitional phase betweeen work and destinations)

Miguel Paolo Celestial said...

Hello Ca!

Sorry I was only able to read your comment this week (after 3 months). Could only say I've taken too much of both rest and overexcitement. Now it's steady treading.

But why make you archive private? Oh well, I guess you have your reasons. Congrats on graduating! I love the sound of both unpredictable and destinations. Does sound very exciting!

Thanks again for still reading.