Friday, August 1, 2014

Faded Friday picture

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Don't laugh, but I woke up deep into the night (early morning actually, but it was dark so I say night) because I was deeply disturbed by certain things: oh you know, my usual gripes on how my life has been overcome by events that I, in my nocturnal despair, convince myself that I have had no control over. And here is the laughable part: on top of my list of lists (the father of all my To Do lists), I wrote even more notes – this time about “The Bigger Picture”.


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You see, it is easy to forget what we have set out to do because we have let ourselves just “go with the flow”. At times this is necessary, but I get “really really angry” when I realize I’ve made too many compromises on my vision and how I want things to be run. Instead of overcome.


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Hence I must look at faded pictures: I must learn my lessons from the past.


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I still maintain that one of my greatest virtues is that I don't take things that personally, and even if I have, my attachment is only fleeting. I move on. (We don’t really have a choice, do we?) I focus on living.


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I can be simultaneously passionate yet absolutely disinterested even when it comes to things or matters that are very personal.


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It may sound psycopathic, and I don’t deny I have certain traits that certainly belong to a sociopath, but hey, I am my mother's second son (read: that’s who I am). Some things only get done if I don’t give a damn.


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But far from always sounding adversarial, I actually do care what other people think (those that I respect). So, before I end, back to the first branch that extended from my original topic (sorry for ranting!): I must apologize that not all the flowers that I bring for you to smell on these pages are not necessarily fresh – a lot are merely floral prints, and not even clear pictures at that. I apologize that at times the images I present or conjure are merely digital copies: desiccated and depressing.


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The time will come when I will have the wherewithal – and the logically earned positive disposition – to bring you things that are new. To report to you, first-hand, what I have smelled and tasted and seen. Right now, I will have to be satisfied with remote and twice-removed sepia feelings.
Which brings me back to the bigger picture: it’s Friday, finally! Hope you all have a tremendously wonderful weekend.


Leaf-print shirt, Izzue, thrifted
Floral print sweater, Forever 21
Jeans, Bench
Braided leather belt (not seen), Nautica
Pennyloafers, G.H. Bass & Co.
Beanie, 5cm


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