Friday, August 1, 2014

Faded Friday picture


Don't laugh, but I woke up deep into the night (early morning actually, but it was dark so I say night) because I was deeply disturbed by certain things: oh you know, my usual gripes on how my life has been overcome by events that I, in my nocturnal despair, convince myself that I have had no control over. And here is the laughable part: on top of my list of lists (the father of all my To Do lists), I wrote even more notes – this time about “The Bigger Picture”.


You see, it is easy to forget what we have set out to do because we have let ourselves just “go with the flow”. At times this is necessary, but I get “really really angry” when I realize I’ve made too many compromises on my vision and how I want things to be run. Instead of overcome.


Hence I must look at faded pictures: I must learn my lessons from the past.


I still maintain that one of my greatest virtues is that I don't take things that personally, and even if I have, my attachment is only fleeting. I move on. (We don’t really have a choice, do we?) I focus on living.


I can be simultaneously passionate yet absolutely disinterested even when it comes to things or matters that are very personal.


It may sound psycopathic, and I don’t deny I have certain traits that certainly belong to a sociopath, but hey, I am my mother's second son (read: that’s who I am). Some things only get done if I don’t give a damn.


But far from always sounding adversarial, I actually do care what other people think (those that I respect). So, before I end, back to the first branch that extended from my original topic (sorry for ranting!): I must apologize that not all the flowers that I bring for you to smell on these pages are not necessarily fresh – a lot are merely floral prints, and not even clear pictures at that. I apologize that at times the images I present or conjure are merely digital copies: desiccated and depressing.


The time will come when I will have the wherewithal – and the logically earned positive disposition – to bring you things that are new. To report to you, first-hand, what I have smelled and tasted and seen. Right now, I will have to be satisfied with remote and twice-removed sepia feelings.
Which brings me back to the bigger picture: it’s Friday, finally! Hope you all have a tremendously wonderful weekend.

Leaf-print shirt, Izzue, thrifted
Floral print sweater, Forever 21
Jeans, Bench
Braided leather belt (not seen), Nautica
Pennyloafers, G.H. Bass & Co.
Beanie, 5cm

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